Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that this is getting a little ridiculous! My early warning system went off (that is, I got a piece of junk mail from Professional Awards of America), offering to sell me a patent plaque for U.S. Patent #8786473, “Systems and methods for sharing compression histories between multiple devices,” which is one of the fruits of my day job at Citrix Systems, as part of their CloudBridge network accelerator line, where I’m a principal technical writer and all-around expert. If you’re a masochist, you can read the full text online (the patent lawyers took my clear-ish original description and made it really hard to follow). Citrix sends me a plaque for every patent (sorry, Junk Mail Guys), and I long ago ran out of ideas for what to do with them! This patent was originally filed in 2007, and spent seven years slowly grinding through the patent office’s process. And you thought you procrastinated!
Another of the patents from my day job at Citrix Systems just issued. “Systems and methods of using the refresh button to determine freshness policy,” U.S Patent #8701010. This was from my Web Optimization Period. It was filed in 2007 and only now made it into the light of day.
That makes me either inventor or co-inventor on 35 U.S. patents. See my patents. Sadly, the patent attorneys obfuscated my nice clear description, so the text isn’t a fun read.
What happens if you are suddenly diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes these days? This happened to my son Karl, who is 17 and autistic, this July. He seemed to have a cold, but took a turn for the worse, looking suddenly very thin and tired and with an odd, deep note in his breathing. He couldn’t keep fluids down.
We called 911 and he took an ambulance ride into the hospital. En route, they gave intravenous fluids and tested his blood sugar levels. “We don’t know how high they are, because the meter only goes up to 500.” Yikes!
My employer, Citrix Systems, sent me the plaques for the patents that I helped develop for them. Woo-hoo! Ten patents about different kinds of network acceleration, which is what my day job is about.