Want to Lose Your Farm? Follow the Fads!

When we were getting started on the farm, we got a great deal on used incubators — we paid something like ten cents on the dollar. How did we get such a great deal? Because the Emu bubble had just burst.

You see, for a couple of years, there was this huge emu fad. The idea was that emu feathers, eggs, meat, and oil were all in tremendous demand, that any emu with a pulse was valuable breeding stock, and that any idiot could become a millionaire by getting in on the ground floor. Stories of fabulous prices paid for emu eggs in unnamed New York restaurants were used as proof of the huge demand.

read more...

Robert Plamondon
Robert Plamondon has written three books, received over 30 U.S. patents, founded several businesses, and is an expert on free-range chickens. His publishing company, Norton Creek Press, is a treasure trove of the best poultry books of the last 100 years.

Sign Up Now! Great Writing Class in Corvallis

I need your help! I’ve signed up for an exciting writing class in Corvallis, taught by an Emmy-award-winning TV writer/novelist/teacher, Linda E. Hamner. The problem is, if we don’t find two more people by noon on Friday who are keen to learn about writing, it’s going to be canceled!

The topic is “Introduction to Screenwriting,” but this will be a fun sleigh ride for anyone interested in writing of pretty much any kind.

The class is on Mondays from 4:00-5:50 at Benton Center in Corvallis. It doesn’t carry any college credit, alas, but that means it can’t hurt your GPA, either. It runs for seven weeks and costs a measly $57. Give it a shot!

read more...

Robert Plamondon
Robert Plamondon has written three books, received over 30 U.S. patents, founded several businesses, and is an expert on free-range chickens. His publishing company, Norton Creek Press, is a treasure trove of the best poultry books of the last 100 years.

Raise Your Glasses High!

Got my new glasses today. I’ve worn glasses since I was nine, and, all things considered, I’ve always liked them. When I put on my first pair of glasses, the world became incredibly sharp and detailed. It was amazing, like a gift. I loved it!

So my glasses never bothered me. In college, I tried soft contact lenses, but they irritated my eyes, and I gave them up. They might have become better since then, but I’m not tempted. The only things I liked about contacts were that they never steamed up and were less annoying than glasses in the rain, but these weren’t really important to me.

read more...

Robert Plamondon
Robert Plamondon has written three books, received over 30 U.S. patents, founded several businesses, and is an expert on free-range chickens. His publishing company, Norton Creek Press, is a treasure trove of the best poultry books of the last 100 years.

Reaching “Critical Mess”

You know how it goes: you move into a four-bedroom farmhouse with an immense barn and a seven-bay vehicle shed, and after a few years, all of it is bulging with stuff. Where did it all come from? What’s it doing here? And why can’t I find anything anymore?

So for the first time ever, I’ve rented a huge commercial dumpster (30 cubic yards). It showed up in late afternoon, so I didn’t put much into it today — a couple of broken-down wheelbarrows, the kids’ childhood little red wagon, sadly and irreparably rusted, a tractor gas tank with a hole in it, several decrepit office chairs and other defunct furniture. Soon the balance will shift as more farm stuff gets put in — rusted-out feeders and the like.

read more...

Robert Plamondon
Robert Plamondon has written three books, received over 30 U.S. patents, founded several businesses, and is an expert on free-range chickens. His publishing company, Norton Creek Press, is a treasure trove of the best poultry books of the last 100 years.

Jack and the Magic Beans: A Modern Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a lad named Jack. Jack lived with his mother, and they were very trendy. One day, Jack’s mother said, “Take the cow to the market and sell her, because we’re vegans now.”

Jack protested, because he was fond of the cow and liked milk, too, but his mother insisted. So he went down to the market and traded his cow for some magic beans. The magician had a beard and a tie-dyed robe. He told Jack that they were as perfect a food as a bean could be.

“How perfect is that?”

read more...

Robert Plamondon
Robert Plamondon has written three books, received over 30 U.S. patents, founded several businesses, and is an expert on free-range chickens. His publishing company, Norton Creek Press, is a treasure trove of the best poultry books of the last 100 years.