Rooster Management

1. My rooster is attacking people. What do I do?

The first thing to do is to ask yourself, "Are you smarter than a rooster?"

It turns out that most people aren't smarter than a rooster -- at least, not without special training. Basically, a rooster will size you up and decide either (a) that you're a rooster, too (in which case you have to have a fight), or (b) that you're not a rooster at all.

If he decides that you're a rooster, he will attack you. After a brief battle he will decide one of three things: (1) He won, and therefore you are supposed to act submissive unless you want a rematch. (2) You won, and therefore he will act submissive until he decides it's time for a rematch. (3) It was a tie, and therefore there has to be a rematch.

People who are smarter than roosters don't like the prospect of endless rematches. Their goal is to prevent the rooster from forming the opinion that humans are fellow roosters. The way you do this is to not act like a rooster.

Basically, it comes down to this: Don't act aggressively towards roosters. When crossing the chicken pen or yard, don't bear down directly on them. Roosters have a warm-up act that precedes an attack, in which they nervously shift from one foot to the other and generally look unhappy. Edge away from them if they start acting like this, and they'll forget all about you.

Roosters who have already decided that you are one of them can be desensitized. They can only hold one thought at a time in that tiny little brain of theirs. If you feed them a handful of grain while they're winding up for an attack, they will forget all about you and call over a bunch of hens to share the bounty. After a few days of this, their aggression will be greatly diminished.

I learned this trick after one of my kids (who was too young to know better), got into a scrap with a rooster. The kid lost, to the point where he was no longer willing to go out on the chicken pasture. Fair enough, but the rooster walked away from the experience with the belief that all humans were roosters, not just the one kid.

So I tried the desensitization trick on the rooster, and that worked fine for me. He never attacked anyone again.

For anyone who is not convinced, let's hold up the practice of "showing the rooster who's boss" to the "front-page photo" test. Which would you rather have on the front page of your local newspaper: A picture of you kicking a rooster, or one of you feeding him a handful of grain?

Some roosters are incorrigible and will attack anybody. These should be made into chicken and dumplings.

On the other hand, some poultrykeepers are incorrigible and can't resist keeping vicious roosters, enjoying the sight of the roosters' attacks on neighbors, relatives, visitors, and children. The world would no doubt be a better place if these owners were made into people and dumplings.

Do I need a rooster?

No. Hens will lay just as many eggs if you don't have a rooster. Hens don't really like roosters very much, anyway. Roosters will sometimes help defend the flock, especially by keeping a watch on the sky for hawks. But their presence in a flock is optional unless you plan on hatching some eggs

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